CHRISTMAS
OPERATIONS ORDER
Date:
Mon, 23 Dec 2007 12:20:01 - 0800 (EST)-1300 (ZULU)
From:
OIC, Director of Christmas Operations
Subject:
Ops order for Dec. 25 Christmas Operations Order: 12-24-07
Subject:
Christmas
1. An
official visit by Lt Gen Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this headquarters
25 December 2007. The following instructions will be in effect and govern
the activities of all personnel during the visit.
a. Not a
creature will stir without official permission. This will include indigenous
mice. Special stirring permits for necessary administrative actions will be
obtained through normal channels. Mice stirring permits will be obtained
through the Office of the Surgeon General, Veterinary Services.
b.
Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200
hours, 24 December 2007. Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, cotton,
light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and Cap,
camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to 1900
hours, 24 December 2007.
c.
Personnel will utilize standard field ration sugarplums for visions to dance
through their heads. Artificially sweetened plums are authorized for those
in their unit weight control program. Specifications for this item will be
provided by the servicing dining facility.
d.
Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with care.
Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused by
carelessly hung stockings. Unit safety Officers will submit stocking hanging
plans to this headquarters prior to 0800 hours, 24 December 2007, ATTN:
DCSLOG, for approval.
e. At the
first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will spring from their beds
to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open the
shutters and throw open the window sashes. DCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick),
Reference LO No.3, paragraph 6c, this headquarters, 2 February 2000, will be
in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Commanding
Officers will familiarize all personnel with procedures and are responsible
for ensuring that no shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown open
prior to start of official clatter.
f. Prior
to 2400, 24 December 2007, all personnel will be assigned "Wondering Eye"
stations. After shutters are thrown open and sashes are tom, these stations
will be manned.
g. The
ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight (8) deer,
rein, tiny, for use of Lt Gen Claus' driver who, IA W current directives and
other applicable regulations, must have a valid SF 56 properly annotated by
Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop parking and be able to shout "On
Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and
Blitzen".
2. Lt Gen
Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units without
chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during ceremonies.
Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job Order Request Form
submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 24 December 2007, and issued
on DA Form 3161,Request for Issue or Turn-in.
3.
Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting "Merry Christmas to all and to all a
good night." This shout will be given on termination of General Claus'
visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of Staff NCOs.
//Original Signed//
CHRISTOPHER KRINGLE Colonel, USMC OIC,
Special Services
DISTRIBUTION: EVERYBODY WHO STILL BELIEVES